I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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