Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
