is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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