I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
