you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
