They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
