I wish my penis had an off switch
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
