You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
