using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
