Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Fuck appropriateness.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
