I need to stop coming to work sober
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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