brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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