So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
