just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
