she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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