dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
