So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
