ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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