At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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