Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
