Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
