dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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