i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm both gender and math confused
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
