its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
