my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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