Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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