Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
