My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
