We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize