my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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