I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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