I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
the raccoons are back...
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