So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
