When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
