No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
