Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
