Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
if only i could text you this smell
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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