Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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