I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
zippers are such a cool invention
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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