So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
