I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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