ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
