a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize