i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
