i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
