Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i drank out of a bidet.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
