I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
We talked him into tasing himself.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
