i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
