Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
