FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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