i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
