He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
