Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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