Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
