mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
