The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
i believe in u and ur pee
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
