ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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