Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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