His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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