Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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