After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
