break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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