I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
