OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
How does it feel to date your dad?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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