Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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