not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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