that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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