bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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