its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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