And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I am one with the molecules
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
