She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
